hey guys whats up? not to much here just chilling being bored just got home not to long ago and just got off the phone with denyce god i love that girl! lol but ne~wayz me and Josh are friends now! thank god! i really thought that this thime i messed things up! but hey true friends stick it out! so this guy who "likes me" called me a hoe becasue he said that he read all my entries but i dont c how im a hoe when it comes to that! but hey some people are just stupid! lol yeah so work is still gay! people really get on my nerves there! but money is money! gotta make it! lol but words are gettin short and so is time so this hoochy is out! love you guys!

                     *Amanda*              

   p.s. i love you nikki!!!! cuz i know u read all my entries!

hey guys..... so the last couple of days have sucked! the boys have been on my mind 24/7! and with me working dont help any! right now im talking to Mark! god i love that boy! so me and Josh got into it cuz he thinks that im picking his ex girlfriend over him! and im not! but oh well! i dont know what to do about it! but ne~wayz....... so me and Dustin dont talk anymore! dont ask why because i have no clue! but yeah...... schhol sucks i hate it so much! but ne~wayz words is getting short! love ya guys! this hooch is out!

             *love you guys alwayz*

                  *amanda*

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

*1*
i know your looking down on me, but i rather u be here with me, this pain will not go away, i think about you every day, i know i need to move on, but my heart is saying no, i know i need to face my fears, but i need you hear but ur not, im alone, i cant go a day without thinking why it had to be you, all it took was a drunk driver to loose control and run into a tree, everytime i hear the wind blow i hear u talk to me, i think of all the memories, and how i seen you that night, and how u walked away not knowing that this was one of the last hour that you were going to be alive, i sit in my room looking at ur pictures, and remembering how it used to be, but now im left with nothing, when i lost you i lost me!

*2*
glass on the ground......blood on the windshield......hope is gone......missing of true loves......days of tomorrow never to come......one thing to another......and then there gone......its the hardest thing to move on......people not understanding don't help......its just another heartache to add on......crying yourself to sleep every night......hoping to wake up and everything be all right......its hard to talk about......when you have everything to say......when all you really want is for it to be okay......people not learning from thing's......don't help your pain......only if people could see that drinking and driving is NOT okay......when you loose a loved one you will realize that losing somebody is the worst pain......

*3*
I’m trying to get over you.......  it’s harder then I thought........ I never had a clue or Guess that this was really the end........ As I try so hard not to cry I hear your voice say i love you one more time.... I dont want this to be the end...... I’ll never see you again.......... Memories of days will allwayz stay in my mind......i see the letters RIPon a wooden cross......I beg god to take back the letters That just ripped us apart.......I’m so cold that I’m turning blue...........I was always warm when I had you.......you will alwayz be my grading angel and this is true...if i had a wish i would wish for you back... But this is it......... it’s over........your gone........ I have to dry my tears And try my best to move on

*4*
hearing screaming from 4 young boys would keep me up everynight, wondering why i couldnt have been outside or been there to get it to stop, knowing that i will never see them again, is the worst thing to think about, hearing people talk about it gives me much more pain then anybody can imagine, i dont want to know what happend and who was the 1st to go, but what i would like is to see my boys again, and tell them one more secret of mine, the only thing that you need to know is i will be there soon and it will be like old times, so watch over me and keep me close untill its my time to go

*5*
looking at the sky makes me think of you, knowing that your not hear but looking down on me, the silence is what kills me, everything comes to mind, how it used to be, and how happy you made me, seeing your face is what made me smile, no matter how mad i was at you, but now im only left with memories, thers no more you, everyday day that goes by, is another day of stress, not knowing what to do, im so lost without you, so what do i do? i cant call to talk to you, so who do i call? i cant go another day without you, so when is my time?

*6*
what do i do without you by my side? who do i run to to tell my secrets that i try to put aside? what do i do when i cant stand the pain any longer? i go into my room to try hide my tears, i dont want anybody to know that im weak deep down inside, everyday my heart beats faster, im scared its going to exploed, my heart sinks deeper into my stomach when i try to act okay, my eyes fill with tears when i look into the mirror, im so disgusted with who i have become without you here!

*7*

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

okay so the last like month has been crazy...... i have been working non stop! im hatein it! but ne~wayz i just got back from kentucky! my aunt pasted away and i went up and stayed at my grandpas house for a night! josh Bryant took me up there! gotta love em! i feel like im loosing everybody! Josh is going into the army when he turns 21! im gunna go crazy! but yea..... my brother has been like living here more then my dads! but im not complaing! so im talking to this guy name Dustin..... hes soooo sweet! but i finally got to hang out with Aulb and Britt.... thats was fun! hehe but words are gettin short and so is time! this hoochy is out!

                 *holla at cha grl*

                                             *AmAnDa*

hey guys so whats up? shit here just kickin it over at my grls house!! so Angie finially came home for a night! im soo happy! she the bestest! she hasnt changed a bit! she is still the same person that i became best friends with in 7th grade! god i love that grl! we finally get to hang out! about time! but ne~wayz last night i worked all night and tonight im haning out with amanda and Angie and earlyer i was with Josh B.... i worked from 9 this morning untill 3! but ofcourse i didnt get out of there untill 3:45 or 4. its alwayz like that! me amanda and angie was all out back a little bit ago talking about Joey, Ian, Dustin, and Josh..... and Angie and Amanda was talking about there older sister which past away! we had our emotional moment! lol but time and words are getting short so im out!!! love ya guys!

                       *holla at cha grl*

                       *amanda* aka ~lil devil~

     ~lil punster and lil devil best friends forever!~